Bestest Orc Emperors
This book is titled "Bestest Orc Emperors". It briefly highlights several important leaders from orcish history. Unfortunately it is told from the perspective of an orc.
I am the person who tells stories for the Emperor because I tell the best stories ever. I was told to write a story down on this so in case I get killed by the Emperor he won't forget all my old stories. Emperor Fist told me to write all the stories about the bestest Emperors ever so I will write them down now.
The first of the greatest orc emperors was Emperor Crush. He was the smartest orc and the most powerfullest orc that ever lived. He lived in this far off place where there were all these trees and stupid elves and stuff. Emperor Crush built this huge castle with his own hands and let other orcs live inside it with him.
He would go ahead and make everyone of his orcs do all kinds of exercises everyday until they died. Not all of them died, but a lot of them did! That is how good he was! He made a really good army out of his orcs and then called them names like Centurion and things like that which meant "Really Good Fighter".
Emperor Crush would be the greatest Emperor any of the orcs would have for a long time. He would smash all of the elves and he even chopped down all of those stupid trees of theirs. One day he would fall on a dagger that a dark elf was holding and would die, though. That would make all of the orcs really mad, so they killed even more stupid elves.
There was no bigger and better Emperor than Crush until Emperor Gash took over a lot of the orcs. I don't know if he was in the same place that Emperor Crush was, but he had to be because the orcs have always been together. Emperor Gash would make lots of different armies work together and do some really sneaky things to all the humans.
Emperor Gash didn't just make the orcs do things, he also made all the big dumb ogres do things too. He said stuff like "Do this or I kill you" and they did, because the ogres are not as good as orcs are. He also made some big Averturd thing some stuff too, because he was the greatest orc Emperor there ever was.
Emperor Gash was the best Emperor because he had sneakiness and did it on all the stupid other humans. They gave him lots of money to leave them alone and then he went into the desert. No other orc could come up with something like that. He made us wait there and said we orcs would go back to the humans when they had more money and take it one day.
Emperor Fist is our Emperor today and he is the best one to ever lead any orcs. He was the bestest gladiator in all of the rings. I even made a lot of money off of him when he was fighting. When he became Emperor I gave him all of my money back and he made me the history person to tell about him.
We used to have another Emperor who was really stupid and did nothing really good. The old dumb Emperor used to make gladiators fight in front of him whenever he ate dinner. He make Emperor Fist fight one day and the Emperor killed all of the other orcs. He then call the stupid emperor mean names and then killed all of the other guards who were told to kill him.
Emperor Fist then jumped out of the fighting pit and started to fight the dumb emperor. We all laughed because the dumb emperor didn't even know how to fight. All the dumb emperor knew what do was to take orders. Emperor Fist doesn't do that stuff. He is the best fighter ever!